Yes, we're still alive - barely

Here we are. Since Elizabeth last posted, I have seen possibly the most incredible, surreal, unforgiving and beautiful landscapes I have ever seen, nearly died (sort of), wanted to die (a couple of times) and have covered the length of the entirety of Bolivia by bus and train. In the interest of time, and since there is a lot of stuff to get through, I'll give a pretty quick overview of where we've been and what we've been up to through today, where we find ourselves in Campo Grande, Brazil. Since most of what we've been up to is best portrayed via pictures anyway, be sure to take a few minutes to take a slideshow through the recently added pics (from Guayaquil to Brazil. I know, its a lot, but you can do it). This post will be a little long, yes, but I know you'll enjoy it.

The trip to Uyuni was miserable. It was an overnight bus, billed at something like 14 hours. What they don't tell you is that it is over the worst roads in all of Bolivia (which is saying something) and at the tail end of the rainy season. At times, it seemed as though our bus might break into a million pieces on account of the rough road, then come within a few inches of toppling into a ditch with 6-foot sways left to right. All this in the middle of the night on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. Needless to say, we didn't sleep much. Around daybreak, our bus was stopped in front of an impromptu river created by some rainfall some miles away, and we patiently waited for 3 hours for the torrent to turn to a trickle. Before any sane person would have tried to make it across, a couple buses got up a head of steam and charged through. Two made it, ours did not. After twenty minutes of trying to free ourselves, a truck hooked up some chains and pulled us to safety. Our next attempt succeeded and we were on our way. The next flood river had us stopped for about an hour, when our driver decided to just "go for it" despite half of the riders being off the bus. We ran, we caught up, jumped on and off we went. The third and final flood river was blocked by an SUV that had tried to cross and was stuck up to the hood in mud. Check out the picture. After an hour our two of digging and pulling them out, our bus proceeded. Having been promised a 8am arrival in Uyuni, we rolled in around 2:45. Exhausting trip #1.

Our trip into the Salar de Uyuni, a working salt flat and lithium mining area was unreal. Over the course of three days, we saw an amazing array of landscapes that only exist in this one remote place. Expansive salt flats, volcanos, rock islands covered with cacti, mud flats, green and red lakes with resident flamingos, deafening steam geisers, bubbling mud pits, snow-capped mountains, small villages with hundreds of llamas, arid deserts - it is worth a look at the pics, for sure. Words do not do them justice. We made this trip along with 6 others - the driver, Mario, his wife and our cook, Marta, and four other touristas. We lucked out with a good group, but the friendly faces couldn't change fact that we were stuck in a Toyota land cruiser, 8 of us, for up to 8 hours a day of driving. And our truck kept breaking down, not starting for hours at a time, with fuel lines and electrical patches made with steak knives and plastic bags. Also there were the flat tires in the middle of the desert, replaced with tires fixed the night before in the dark and secured with less than the required number of lug nuts. Mario, our faithful driver, in an effort to make up some time on our second day of delays, lost control of the truck while speeding in the mud flats, resulting in a spin out that was a dry patch of land or a stuck rock away from flipping us over and seriously ruining our day. At the end of the day, however, nobody died, I now know what llama and Bolivian lasagna taste like (both separately and together), and we got some amazing pictures. We rolled back into Uyuni around 6:30, just in a knick of time to get on an 8pm overnight bus heading to Sucre. Exhausting trip #2.

The bus to Sucre was possibly the least comfortable bus I have ever been on. Absolutely miserable. At our scheduled stop in Potosi, about two-thirds of the way to Sucre, and after having let off all the passengers who were staying in the famed silver mining town, our driver decided that the five passengers left that had bought a ticket all the way to Sucre weren't worth his time to drive the remaining 5 hours, and so tried to pawn us off on other bus companies for the rest of the trip. Not really a huge deal, except that nobody told us. When Elizabeth asked the driver's wife when we were getting on our way, she pointed to another bus down the road that we were apparently supposed to be getting on. We bolted off thee bus, grabbed our bags and ran. The new bus driver wasn't having it, and started to drive off with us hanging out the door, our bags in the storage compartment of the bus. We were able to convince him to stop the bus long enough to let us off and to get our bags. Our original bus driver succeeded in paying off some other lady to let us on her bus, and away we went - arriving around 11am, only 4 hours late. Exhausting trip #3.

We took a day and a half to recoup in Sucre, caught up on some sleep, and walked around the city a bit. Our next bus awaited, bringing us to our last stop in Bolivia, Santa Cruz.

The ride to Santa Cruz was uneventful - we didn't almost die, the seats were comfortable-ish and our driver didn't sell us up the river to the highest bidder. It was another overnight bus, but what's one more, right? Exhausting trip #4.

Santa Cruz was a beautiful city, and we decided to stay a day or so to soak it in before heading to Brazil. We had a nice enough place to stay, and were right in the middle of the city with plenty to see and do. We walked in the plaza at night, saw part of an outdoor mass at the church on the square, had some good food and got some laundry done. We purchased our ticket for the train (yes, train, and overnight to boot) to Brazil the following day, and rested up. The following morning, Saturday morning mind you, we awoke to the city of nearly 1.6 million people being completely deserted. Apparently they don't tell the gringos that there was an ongoing outbreak of dengue fever and they were fumigating the city. It took 30 minutes to find a taxi (normally you can't take a step without walking into one) and we headed to the train station, optimistic that we hadn't beed bitten by a mosquito in a while. We hoped.

The train, billed as "bone-jarring" by our trusty travel book, wasn't so much that as will-crushing. It was definitely uncomfortable, made frequent stops so locals could run throughout the train selling soda, water, chicken dinners and meat on sticks, but after 19 hours, we arrived at the border of Brazil. Exhausting trip #5.

Minor annoyances with border formalities aside, it was relatively easy to get across into Brazil. The real headache from this leg of the trip came at the Brazilian bus station that doubles as the immigration office - a four-hour line in 95 degree heat to get a piece of paper to fill out, to then get in a second 4-hour line to hand in said piece of paper and get a stamp. Having waited in line for close to 3 hours, and with the prospect of not getting to the head of line #1 in time to beat the 1pm closing time, let alone get through the second line, Elizabeth put on her assertive (but not aggressive) hat and made them understand that we had a bus to catch and needed to get through the line. Now. It worked, and we were pushed ahead. All this not speaking a word of Portuguese. Amazing.

After changing some money with some dude in his living room, we bought our bus ticket to Campo Grande, picked up some water, hot pockets and chips and were on our way. This bus was straight out of the factory - brand new, comfy, air conditioned and only a six-hour trip. We arrived at our place, Hostel Campo Grande, with smiles on our faces and a renewed faith in our travels. A mango smoothie, some fried empanadas and a cold shower led us to bed for some well-earned sleep.

That was a marathon post. Even if you just skimmed it, check out the pictures - they are worth it. We will likely have internet a lot more now, including over the next week or two, so will have more timely updates and picture uploads. Until then, just be thankful you're not on an overnight bus in Bolivia.